On Growing Weary...

I've been avoiding the blog again.   Sorry, folks.  It's not that I don't WANT to blog or talk to you....it's just that I'm tired.

I'm tired of waiting.

I'm tired of praying for news.

I'm tired of playing email-tag.

I'm tired of the rush-rush-rush to fill out one more form (that we already filled out months ago).

I'm tired of wondering just when our little boy is going to be in my arms.

I'm tired of trying to answer the question "When do you go get him?"

I'm just tired.   And so I don't blog.  I don't talk about him.  I don't talk about where we are in the process.  I don't give out updates.  I'm emotionally exhausted.

It's been 17 months now since we first committed to this process.   SEVENTEEN MONTHS.   That's a long time, y'all.   We knew going into it that it could take this long......what I didn't know was how much of a toll this waiting process was going to take on us.

The emotional roller coaster of moving forward a step.....and then back two.....then forward again.....then standing still......it's exhausting.   

Every week, I wake up thinking, "Maybe this is it - maybe this is the week that we get matched to him!"

And then it doesn't happen and the crash at the end of the week is torture.

We get little glimmers of hope:  

"He's still available for adoption and the agency is officially recommending your family."

(That was last week's email)

Then nothing.

More silence.

More questions to answer with answers that I don't have.

And I don't feel comfortable talking about any of this with anyone.   Those who aren't adopting have a hard time understanding just what the process is even like.  Our friends who are adopting are struggling with the same thing, and their children are often in horrible situations - overcrowded orphanages where their child never leaves his/her crib.   They don't need to hear it from me, too, when it's already playing on repeat in their own minds.  Peter's in a good place - he's being well cared for.   He's receiving wonderful medical care and treatment.   How could I be so incredibly inconsiderate to complain about MY situation when Peter's in a good place....and they're dealing with the same emotional roller coaster and mound of paperwork and stress and they don't have the reassurance that their child is being well-cared for?

And so I don't say anything.  And I don't blog.  I just keep trying to help their fundraising efforts, be there to listen to them cry and stress, keep praying for their children every night.

I don't tell anyone about the stress of finding child care when our trip comes.   I don't tell anyone about the stress of timing - how I want to go as soon as possible to pick him up, but worry about the cost if we travel in the summer vs the winter as we originally thought we would be.  (Plane tickets are twice the cost if we travel this summer.....and that's a lot of money).  

I try to hold on to the little glimmers of hope.  The fact that he's available.  The fact that our referral is awaiting official approval by the government and could come any day.

I try to push through the days like today, where all I want to do is go back to bed and cry because I'm just so tired of waiting.   

I just keep plugging along....trying to focus on the positives.

It's just so tiring.

I'm weary.

Thankful Thursdays

Join me!

I kind of forgot it was Thursday, whoops!   That's the one real downside I've found of homeschooling so far - it lends itself so well to having a flexible schedule that I often forget what day of the week it is!    

Anywho....today I am thankful for:

- a hardworking husband who is currently teaching the boys how to build something for the yard

- healthy children

- hot coffee that I get to drink WHILE IT IS HOT

- getting in a workout FOUR days this week already!

- spring weather to enjoy

How about you?   Share your blessings today!

Progress - and a request for more prayers!

I finally get to update the blog with actual progress!    Do you guys realize just how *good* it feels to do that?    I've been avoiding this blog for weeks, just because I had nothing of substance to tell you guys, and I didn't want to bore you with just another account of "We're still waiting."

But today is different!  Today, I have news!

Remember that delay we hit a few months ago?  It's been resolved.  The paperwork we were waiting on has been approved by Peter's country.   This is a BIG step forward - finally, we can get on with the regular adoption process and *hopefully* will hear something about what is called "matching approval" soon.   MA will take Peter off of the open adoption list and officially match him to our family.   This can't happen soon enough, in my opinion!  

While we're extremely excited about finally hearing good news - we're also holding our breath.   All this time we've been working toward bringing Peter home (so, about 15 months now), he's been available for adoption by other families.    He could already be matched with another family and on his way home - or already in a home.   We just don't know exactly what his status is.

Our agency is trying to find out that information - trying to see if he is still available for us to adopt him.    Please join us in praying for God's will to be done in this situation.   While we are obviously emotionally attached to Peter already, if it is God's will that he be in another family, please help us to accept that.    My biggest prayer for this little boy is that he have a place to call home and a family who will love him for the rest of his life.   I'd like it to be our family, but if it is not to be, please pray that we can be grateful that he is in a family and has a home.   

If, by some chance, Peter has already been matched or adopted, please pray for our discernment in moving forward with another child.   I don't want to think of that possibility at this point, but it might be something that we will have to decide in the near future.   Please pray that we are able to faithfully carry out God's will for our family, no matter what that looks like.

Thank you so much for your support!!

A Non-Update

Hi all!

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged!  I'm so sorry!   I've had a hard time coming on here and posting something, knowing that some of you would see the new post in your email inboxes or on your newsfeed on FB and get all excited.......just to open it up and see that nothing's happening.

But it's been two months......I feel like I'm neglecting you!  So, here's your "non-update" for the day.

No new developments, unless you consider us having to re-do all of our background checks, FBI clearances, doctor's appointments (for the whole family), and vet appointments for the dogs to be new developments.    It's really just been a repeat of last winter - checklists and paperwork.   Nothing too exciting.

It's all finished now, though, which is a great feeling.   We got word yesterday that the overlooked piece of paperwork was just waiting final approval from Peter's government, and then we'd hopefully be moving on to the next step (it's called "matching approval" - where he's officially "matched" to us through a referral process, and then he's taken off of the open adoption list).   We're hoping to have that approval by our birthdays (both in April).   If that happens, then the paperwork delay would only have put us back a couple of months, not the whole year delay that was possible.   Please keep praying - I know those prayers are helping us through this delay!

So there you have it - our non-update.   We're still taking baby steps forward.  It's not much, but it's enough to get us closer to our goal of bringing Peter home!

A few updates, and a cry for help...

It's been a rough week.

We hit a road block with our adoption of Peter.  To make a long story short, the government in his country needs to approve one aspect of our application.....and it somehow got lost in the whole process and needs to start at the beginning of the approval process.  We're looking at probably a 6-12 month delay, in the long run.   Prayers would be MUCH appreciated.   This also means that we'll have to update some of our other information (homestudy paperwork, basically) in the process, because it will expire while we wait.  

While this obviously isn't the news we wanted to hear, we have trust that this is all part of His plan.    The only scary part for us is that during this delay, Peter cannot be removed from the waiting child list.   There's a chance that, while we wait, another family could move forward to bring him home.   Again, we're obviously not excited about that remaining a possibility any longer.....if it does happen, we will continue to trust in Him and His plan for our family.    For now, though, we take comfort in knowing that Peter is being prayed for by people around the world, and is being loved so thoroughly by hundreds of people.  He's a lucky boy.

We also take great hope in the news we received today - our little boy is no longer living in a hospital!! He's been moved into a child home, which in his country is a wonderful thing.   His country provides wonderful, family-centered care for orphans, and so we are comforted by the fact that he is now in a home, with other children...with toys....with a bed of his own....This is a beautiful thing for his daily life and well-being.

This week was also difficult for another reason.  One of our own, a young Reece's Rainbow orphan-no-more passed away after a difficult battle with an infection.   He was only 2, and had  only been home for 14 short months.

However, in those 14 months, Henry changed the world.   His own world suddenly was filled with unconditional love, a family, happiness and smiles, and the love of a mother and father.......and it was through their witness to love that so many of us found Reece's Rainbow and our own forever child.    Henry and his mom, Carla, brought so many orphans home.......so many children were rescued through their witness and advocacy.

Today, our little family joins together in mourning, in remembrance of a life that ended too soon.

I ask you for two things, to help Henry's family:

1- if you're Catholic, please join in praying a rosary between the hours of 2 and 9 pm today.   This time period is Henry's visitation, and while we cannot be physically with his family....we can join our voices to theirs in prayer.   If you are not Catholic, please take some time to pray your own prayers, in solidarity with his adoptive family, and so many of us that Henry touched.

2 - Henry's medical bills and funeral expenses are large.  If you can help, with any size monetary donation, I ask that you do that.   I cannot begin to express how many lives Carla and Henry touched through their adoption journey and first year home.   So many of us considered Carla a "big sister" of sorts - she was always there to help us over the roadblocks, hold our hand, dry our tears, pray us through our discernments, and rejoice in homecomings and victories.  Please help us to return the favour by helping them overcome this immediate financial hurdle.  You can find a link to the family's Chip-In account at the top right column of our own blog.  

For more information about Henry, and tributes to the little guy, please check out these links:

Bringing Henry Home

Little Catholic Bubble

The Scenic Route

Giving Thanks..

We decided to splurge a bit this year (well, not really - we only did cheap things, except for one thing), and spend our first ever Thanksgiving vacation in New York City.   All through med school and residency, Mike never had an entire Thanksgiving weekend off - he'd have bits and pieces of the weekend free, but never the whole thing.   This year.....he did!...and we decided to have a fun family weekend.   Our extended family was too far away from us to travel to without spending a couple of thousand dollars, so we started researching ways to do NYC (about 5 hrs away from us) on a budget.   

It worked!  We found a train station that we could drive to and park at for minimal fees and spent a whole $50 on round trip train tickets for the entire family.  Considering we drive a Prius, our transportation costs were less than $100!  :)   A friend told us about The Leo House  , a Catholic guesthouse in the city that was mere blocks from 5th Avenue, and about a mile walk from Central Park.    It was literally 1/5 of the cost of a hotel, and was an awesome "home base."  I really can't say enough great things about the Leo House - it was very bare bones lodging (do not expect fancy decorations or bathrooms or surroundings), but it had clean beds, and clean bathrooms, and an AMAZING hot breakfast buffet in the morning (seriously - one of the best breakfasts we've ever had a a hotel, including homemade bread for toast.  YUM.   It was very bed-and-breakfast-ish).  They'd make you boxed lunches to take with you on your day of exploring as well (yum, more homemade bread!), at a fraction of the cost of eating out.  The staff made it a point to get to know us and our boys, and by the end of the weekend, they felt like extended family members.    There was morning Mass every morning (except Sunday, unless there is a priest staying there) to start our day,  which you won't get anywhere else in NYC!  :)   We would HIGHLY recommend it.  

Between a fantastic breakfast and quick and easy lunches of bagels and/or sandwiches, we managed to do NYC on a tight budget without feeling like we were lacking anything at all.    There's so much to do and see that's free - especially at Christmas time.  Between the parade (SO MUCH FUN.  Definitely worth getting up at 5:30 for and standing in our spot from 6:30 - 9:30 am), window displays at stores, and all the beautiful churches to explore.......we never had time to get bored.   We did splurge on two purchases/adventures, but one of them I consider a school expense, and the other was our family Christmas gift.    We'd spent week before our trip learning about the Empire State Building (how it was built, why it was built, the structure itself, for example), and did pay the money to go up to the observatory.   The look on Rascal #1's face (he's our little architect-in-the-making) made it worth all of the expense.   He was thrilled to be able to see it and touch it in person.   So fun!

Our one big expense was a trip to see Disney's The Lion King on Broadway.  Merry Christmas to us!  Both Mike and I had seen the show in our pre-kids days and loved the music and spectacle.   The kids were finally all old enough to be able to sit through it and follow along, so we decided to spend the bulk of our Christmas budget on this one purchase.  It was worth it.   The boys were fascinated - and haven't stopped talking about it yet, three days later.   I'm so glad we went!

We'd challenged ourselves to find a way to enjoy our first family vacation ever (meaning:  first family trip taken purely for entertainment purposes, NOT involving visiting family at all) on a budget, and while many didn't think it was possible.....we proved them wrong.   It IS possible to go to New York City for holiday festivities without spending thousands of dollars!  Here's the proof:

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

Starting to get crowded along the parade route

Yay!  Here it comes!

In awe of the balloons...

So much to see!

Getting confetti...

Cutting through Central Park on our way back to the hotel

VERY excited boys!

St Therese shrine....

Absolutely beautiful:  St Patrick's Cathedral

lighting a candle and praying for a friend

Share Nico Day!

Sharing this for a dear friend, Kara.  

*******

Kyle and Kara met in 2004 and quickly fell in love. They were blessed with 4 beautiful daughters soon after that and live a blissfully busy life.

When Kara discovered Reece’s Rainbow, it was like a dream come true. She has always been called to orphans and especially the work of Mother Teresa, but didn’t know how to help. So, having a tangible way to advocate for these children was amazing.

Then Kara saw Nico and everything changed. She fell head over heels in love, but because they were not able to adopt at that time, she vowed to advocate as hard as she could for him, in hopes that a family would find him. Things changed very quickly once that “yes” was on both Kyle and Kara’s hearts, and they have been blessed to walk through each door as it has opened. They are praying that they will be able to give Nico the home and family that he deserves soon.

They are thankful for this opportunity and hope you will pray for them as they go through this process.

9/24/12—HOMESTUDY in PROGRESS
Follow the family’s adoption journey on their blog at http://catholic-kara.blogspot.com/